The
end of the race is not just a question of deliberately relinquishing our
all-directional approach to achieve spiritual awakening, it is also -and above
all- the end of the guise and the beginning of a deep reconciliation with the
self and "what is".
Although
those who listen to me often understand the first aspect fairly well, since
putting an end to the runner’s agitation is welcomed, the second aspect
still meets up with deep-rooted resistance.
The
seeker doesn’t mind stopping running but prefers to believe that halting the
race to "elsewhere" or towards his models permits him to remain in
his usual status quo position, in the perpetual denial of the human
condition, of what drives him at each moment, of the life which passes through
him and which he has learned not to love.
By
seizing on the "end of the race", the seeker takes a short-cut which
leads him to claim that he "has arrived". This is no longer really
the end of the race but the illusion that it has reached its mythical goal!
When
the runner as such really collapses, despair is inevitable. If, for years, we
have been identified with how he has been carried away, it is natural that we
feel his disappointment. All the more so since the collapse of the race, which
is not a concept or a mental resolution, brings us back to the world we fled
as fast as our legs would carry us via our race.
The
seeker who asserts that his race is over is only performing a superficial
gesture since he has not realized that his essential race consists in
permanently and at every moment avoiding "what is" and "what is
aroused in him". He perseveres in his attitude which consists in adapting
his masks to the situation. After sometimes reluctantly abandoning the visible
runner’s mask, he is determined to hold on to that of the invisible runner.
He refuses to face up to the frustrations and anger within him, the feeling of
inadequacy which sustained his race and the piercing tension which can only
let go in the living relation I call "being with".
The
runner who resists "being with" what is aroused in him, being with
"what is", regardless of the nature of "what is", may well
have interrupted his courses and rituals, he has not quit his virtual race
which makes him a puppet of his fears and illusions.
These
seekers are still runners. They present the same symptoms of the race and
have, once more, only adopted an attitude when their behavior again betrays
the flight and distress of not being able to be reconciled with themselves.
There
is, therefore, a sort of demand at the end of the race which cannot be happy
with the superficial act of relinquishing one’s practices, for the decision
to relinquish one’s masters and practices is the most superficial way of
interpreting the invitation to end the race. The invisible runner as such does
not need to move physically to pursue his objectives. It is enough for him to
deny the evidence of what he undergoes at any moment, deny his distress and
difficulty of "being with", of "letting be" and "letting
things pass through". And the words he pronounces to convince the rest of
the world of his bliss don’t really manage to mask the obvious distress
which torments him.
What
I say here is intended for those who are still possessed by the invisible
runner and wear a mask which has the drawn features of those who, out of fear
still, prefer to give the meeting with the self and love a miss, despite the
fact that this is the most valuable aspect of the end of the race.
Thierry